In real life I’m vaguely scared of almost everything (heights, rare meat, rollercoasters, the later songs of Tom Waits, I could go on all day), but I’m not easily disturbed by horror movies. While I am an enthusiastic fan of the genre, serial killers, aliens, zombies, vampires, and werewolves don’t tend to keep me awake at night. I do concede a slight weakness for movies about demonic possession (the anxiety of watching The Exorcist, for instance, caused me to gnaw off my left arm), and specifically those that involve some manner of devil child (The Exorcist, The Ring, Poltergeist, etc.).

With that established, I want to say right now that after seeing The Descent, I have been forced to rearrange my list of fears as follows:

3. Satan.

2. Satan children.

1. Being trapped in a cave miles under the earth with an army of bloodthirsty, chattering bat-people.

The Descent is not for the faint of heart. It is, however, essential viewing for those of us who feel the need to be prepared for all contingencies, including being trapped in a cave miles under the earth with an army of bloodthirsty, chattering bat-people.

Cheers,

Owen

Bonus Pick-of-the-Month

AMERICA’S REPORT CARD by John McNally

I love a good conspiracy and at this stage, that may be the only way to explain the distressing state of our world. John McNally’s profoundly funny new novel embraces the madness, and tracks it back to its source: standardized testing. In so doing, he has also created one of my favorite characters of modern literature, Jainey O’Sullivan, a Scout Finch for our times, but much cooler and much weirder. Fans of Straight Man, Catch-22, and Wonder Boys in particular, should check this one out.